A Renaissance Woman; Could She Be?

Some Memories of Cathy Baccari

By Patrick Flanagan

 

                There are very few women that I would write about to this level.  My wife for one, and Cathy as another.  Their lives were somewhat parallel.  So much so that it scares me when I think of it.  Was this Fate or Ordained?  Cathy and Yolanda both married wild men and stayed with them right to the end of living.  Both went to San Francisco College of Woman which I call “Lone Mountain”.  I used to joke about that as they were perceived to be  lonely women ready to be taken advantage of.  Yet I was later to be taught how wrong I was in that assessment.   Both women read constantly and always seemed to be expanding their knowledge and wisdom.  Al and I would not have married stupid women, even though we thought we were still smarter then they.  Ironically, both died of liver cancer and both Al and I stayed with them up to the end.  In their last few moments, they continued to teach us exactly how little we really did know.  Even then we realized that popsickles are so important to us all in the last moments of our lives; our thirst for wisdom is unquenchable.  How the complexity of life can be made so simple in the end.  Does it all come down to popsickles as to the meaning of life?

              Cathy, like my Yolanda, was the gatekeeper.  In their feminine way, they protected us from the evil that sometimes enters into our lives.  They taught us the power of prayer and the mysticism of life, how to say the Rosary, and to expand into the spiritual life.  Not that they were fanatical or “Born Again Christians”, no they were not.  Yet they knew that there was another life and they brought us to this new vista in their own way.  And the Rosary plays such an integral part in this all.

                Oh, how many times, as I waited for Al to take my phone call, did the conversation with Cathy seem to roam into the spiritual.  And it never mattered what was going on, still there was a spiritual impact on what was going on, on why I was calling her husband for answers.  She put things into perspective before she connected me on to her husband.  There is no doubt as to the influence she wielded.  Matters were put into their proper perspective.  She taught me that everything we do in life is spiritual.

                We all know so well how long Al talks on the telephone.  As I often waited for a connection, Cathy would keep me busy.  It was amazing just how much she knew and the breadth of her knowledge in almost all areas.  Books, music, the arts, etiquette, manners, religion, history; she could talk intelligently about it all and help one gain insights into the acquisition of knowledge and wisdom.  She was truly the “Renaissance Woman” and the gatekeeper to the “Renaissance Man”.  There are few women or men that I have met in my life who had these qualities.  One realizes just how important in life it is to learn and then to inspire others by teaching.  Cathy was one of the greatest teachers in this endeavor.  She truly was the “Wise Woman”.

                Sometimes it is difficult to reach for our spiritual life.  I will never forget when Al’s mother was dying.  (And there is another woman who was so amazing as well.)  Al’s mother was very spiritual.  I remember one day going to visit her in the hospital; she was sleeping.  I decided to just sit there and pray for her to regain her health and to get better.  All of a sudden, she opened her eyes, looked at me and asked me to come closer to talk with her.  Then she proceeded to tell me things about my life and my family which no one could really know.  She warned me of the dangers facing me, that demons were around and I had to be vigilant and pray.  I can only say that when I left the hospital, I was shaken.  Things that she had revealed were even unknown to me at the time.  Yet, in the end, it all came to pass and I was better prepared thanks to her insights and warnings.

                I later was talking to Cathy and told her what had happened.  It didn’t surprise her at all.  She just praised Al’s mother and told me that “I was one of Al’s mother’s sons.  She loved me.”  Thanks to Al’s mother and to Cathy, I have come to understand the spiritual and the quest for that part of my life.  And it certainly is one of the most difficult endeavors I have undertaken.  I have a long way to go.

                Now some of you who read this might think that I’ve lost my mind.  All I can say is that you need to open your mind, you just have not gone far enough and just have not learned that there is just so much more to learn.  If I can do just one good thing in life, it would be for me to convince you to search, search and you will find.  It will help when one thinks of Cathy and she taught, she listened and urged me to search; Al’s mother encouraged me to search.  Now looking back, I see it all as to how Al became the Renaissance Man.  He was surrounded by truly Renaissance Women.

                In the last few months of Cathy’s life, I would call Al as I am so want to do.  Sometimes he wouldn’t be there and Cathy and I would talk.  Now I realize that she was so ill at those times but one would never ever know it.  She was just so intent on her quest that nothing would hold her back.  Her mission in life was just too important to let anything stand in her way.  She never wavered and always was true to her quest.  We talked about the Rosary and all of the other subjects that we had talked about over so many years.  She always had her insights and commentaries which always made me think long and hard after our conversations were over.

             Thinking back, I now realize that something wasn’t right at the very end.  It was at that time that Al told me she was ill; about 30 days later she went on in her continued search for spiritualism.  She and my wife are now together, two women from Lone Mountain, and I’m sure that they both are now watching us very closely to make sure that the work they did on this earth still thrives and is spread to others.

 

             Husbands usually pass away before their wives.  For both Al and I, that just didn’t happen.  The parallels in life are not at random but for and with reason, a spiritual reason.  A true Renaissance man observes and opens one’s mind to the vagaries of life, always trying to find the wisdom to help in the quest for spiritualism.  Perhaps both my wife and Cathy have finally reached their final endeavor and that their message to both Al and I today is that we just haven’t gone far enough.  Our road to the spiritual is a bit longer and must be endured.   We just aren’t there yet and there is so much more work to be done.  And the good news I think is that both of these women are still watching us and helping as we march on in this one final quest of our lives.